Student life abroad can get lonely, quickly.

It is relatively hard for me to make the first post a sad one because I am truly grateful for the life I have here. However, I said, I will keep it real and uncensored to how I am feeling. And I am feeling fucking lonely and homesick right now. Usually, I have my boyfriend whom I live with but at the moment he is visiting his family in his home country. Something, I thought I would have been able to do by now at least twice.

The issue isn’t as much the distance from him or my family and friends back in the Czech Republic as it is the disconnection we currently have due to Covid-19. When I made the decision to move to the UK, I never thought it would be so difficult trying to travel back to my country. It is something, I simply didn’t count on because I was used to the luxury of simply buying a cheap plane ticket and getting on the plane the next month. The biggest worry I had was not forgetting my passport, not if I booked all the PCR tests before my arrival.

So, here I am, sitting on my ass because I am self-isolating. I tested positive for Covid last week and I am trying to enjoy the last days of my quarantine because those are the days when I feel like my body finally has some energy again. Therefore, physically I am getting better, and I am very grateful for my body fighting off the virus. However mentally, it’s challenging. You are forced to stay indoors, the only outside area you’ll get is your little city balcony if you’re lucky to have one. When you are in your bed the whole day, your mind starts to wander. And that tends to be dangerous.

I have realised in the last few days how much I’ve been trying to overlook the strong feeling of being homesick and lonely. I wouldn’t allow myself to go there because I knew that I am not mentally strong to think about the fact that I haven’t seen my family, which I love more than anything, since January. And as I am writing this, my vision gets blurry because I am so anxious about it. After all, the circumstances are changing all the time when it comes to traveling now. I am terrified that I won’t be able to go back home soon.

That is why it gets lonely. You also start to realise all the things that you took for granted when you were growing up in your parents’ house. But I guess that is adulting overall.

So here’s a list of things I miss terribly about my Czech home. And I hope writing this will somehow help me in being an emotional release.

1. When my family and friends were only a few kilometers away and I could visit them without self-isolating or spending a fortune on tests.

2. Czech nature.

3. Walking my dog.

4. Cuddling my dog.

5. Having psychology talks with my brother.

6. Not relying on a stable internet connection to see the people I love.

7. Not having to worry about having enough hours at work to pay my rent.

8. The Czech prices of everything.

9. Driving on the right side of the road.

10. Hugging my parents.

11. My mum’s cooking skills.

12. Having photoshoots with my brother.

13. Our garden.

14. Joking around with my family and laughing my ass off.

15. Watching girly films with my mum.

16. Drinking with my friends.

17. Czech beer.

18. Shopping with my mum.

19. Listening to music with my dad.

20. Sitting on a bench with my grandma and talking about the ‘good old days’.