Reality Check

I fell in "love" once. Happy butterflies ripped my stomach open. I was on cloud nine. 'I never loved you.'  He states during the "real talk". At that moment,

the butterflies which seemed 

more like hungry beasts

took away pieces from my unarmed heart like it was nothing.

Many months have passed. Spoiler alert. I managed to survive. Here I am. Alive and well. 

It was not the end of the all days. 

Not even close.

Still quite funny now it all seems. Frankly how come the reality never meets my dreams? or should they be called expectations?

Can I get any more blind and defenseless? How can I not see through a love that's completely fake? Why would I trust a fraud after fraud?

Ha, how ridiculous and empty our "love" was.

Does it even deserve to be called such a thing? Love? Really?

Happy butterflies? Reality check. More like a void that's been filled with a puzzle that does not fit. At all.

Still waiting. Expecting. And hoping for some raw and real feeling of being loved.

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash